Saturday, October 2, 2010

Im one hell of a great actress......Ive got everyone fooled.

Yep, Im a great actress. Ive got everyone fooled. They all think I give a damn. I dont. I hate everything. I am the most miserable I have ever been. Im a wolf in sheeps clothing. Im a friggin looney.

Ok, so seriously. Im miserable. I am exhausted and at my wits end. What the hell can I do to change this? I cant see past any of it. I already asked my Shrink to put me on a 72 hr hold. He said no cause I wasnt a danger to myself or others. Well no Im not going to try and commit suicide, and Im not going to hurt my family. BUT I NEED to be away from myself. I need to sleep for 50 hrs straight. Hop me up on some good drugs and let me get through this. I need a break. I feel like being put in the looney bin is the only way I can have some relief from the stress and anxiety. I need the release. Oh who am I kidding, I put on a good show so people dont believe me.

Its all a show. When Im at work, I dont wanna help these customers. I just want their money. So I put on my happy face and sell em stuff. But I dont care. They pay me to sell stuff so I do. I pretend to be interested in them, just to gain their trust to get their money. Im a liar. Its the cold hard truth. Oh well.

Life is hard. Life sucks. Then you die. But living life miserable is worth than death. I need a release.

A wonderful song by APC, tells the story well of how I lie........

Clever got me this far
Then tricky got me in
Eye on what I'm after
I don't need another friend
Smile and drop the cliche
'til you think I'm listenin'
Take just what I came for
Then I'm out the door again

Peripheral on the package
Don't care to settle in
Time to feed the monster
I don't need another friend
Comfort is a mystery
Crawling out of my own skin
Just give me what I came for
Then I'm out the door again

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