So I may be a weirdo, but I dont care. I realized something today. When I step into a hospital I come alive. Im fascinated with all things medical. I can feel again when Im in a hospital. Isnt that just effing weird? Its like this is what I am meant to do. I am meant to help save lives. Cant save my own, but I can save others. Perhaps that is part of the reason God gave Alexandra to me. Now that kind of pisses me off in a way, that God would allow her to be born with her condition just to show me my path in life, but I can see the logic behind it. She is my inspiration. Without her I wouldnt have discovered how medical things make me feel.
Shit, I know this is stupid. But Im going to get my ass back to school to be a nurse. I have to. Its my calling. I know it is. My heart will not be whole again until I am part of saving lives. So there. I said it.