Thursday, September 8, 2011

Whats going on with me?

Im not sure whats going on with me. I am always exhausted. And I sleep plenty. I sleep like 10 hrs a night. When I can I take a nap in the afternoon. I fall asleep so well at naptime that I actually dream. I just cannot figure out what is wrong with me. And then theres the constant intestinal upset. I have painful intestinal movements everyday.....almost like unstoppable. It can happen with anything I eat. Or nothing. Ive ate nothing and it happens. The weird thing is I sweat constantly. From the minute I wake up til I go to sleep, even when I sleep. For some reason though as soon as the weather cools down....the intestinal upset stops, and the sweating isnt as profuse. Could I be allergic to the heat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! This kind of seasonal thing has been happening for the past 2 years. I thought once I had my gallbladder removed it would get better, but it didnt. This winter though, my stomach still had issues just not as frequent as during the summer. Im tired of living in fear of being out somewhere with the girls and not be able to control my bowels....cause seriously....when it happens, I cannot control them. 

Ive tried the whole mind over matter, you know just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But it doesnt stop how insanely tired I am. I get a headache that borders on migraine everyday. I seriously need to get my ass to the doctor. Heres the problem.....my husband really needs to go as well. And I feel if I go before him, he will think I dont care. I feel like I can work through these issues, but it really hinders his ability to live well. I think its the reason we arent intimate anymore. He just cant, he is in too much pain from the fibro or whatever he has, but he has never had diagnosed. Everytime we make an appt for him, something comes up and we dont have the money to pay the copay. Yeah thats just how bad it is.....no money to pay the 25 buck copay. We pay for insurance we cant even use because we cant pay the copay. Its just there in case something really bad happens. 

Ugh, Im tired of living like this. Im trying to get a hold of myself. I take it one day at a time. But I seriously need to see a doctor.

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