Friday, June 8, 2012

Stimulation overload.....

Days like today make me happy and then they make me realize how hard life is. I always knew my life wouldnt be easy per se.....but never did I think it would be this hard. Today is my wonderful Husbands birthday. Originally at the beginning of the week we had planned on having a night out just the 2 of us, and my parents were going to watch the girls. But yesterday while calling my Mom to get her advice on something, my sister threw a total tantrum about things that have nothing to do with her and why do I need to call my Mom to get her advice because and I quote "Danielle ran a million dollar volume jewelry store, why does she need your advice!?!?!". My sister is very troubled. And after this particular incident, she threatened her own life. She is in a very bad place right now, and Im very concerned for my parents health. Im very afraid that this will ultimately kill my parents early as the stress of living with my sister is unbearable. She really needs some professional help, which I have tried to convince my parents into getting, but they feel horrible to do that to their daughter, which I totally understand. So Kevin and I made the decision that we think it would be best to not put any undue stress or pressure on my parents, as they have another "child" to deal with right now. I know my Mom would be there if I really needed her, but going out together alone isnt necessarily needed. Would be nice, but not necessary. Kevin and I's marriage has been on the backburner for quite awhile now, and I guess its just going to have to be for a bit longer. I do truly hope my parents can help my sister figure this out so she can move on with her life.

So instead of going out as a couple we went out as the 4 of us. Of course in true Edges family fashion, something not planned always gets into the mix and we ended up having to get a tire on my car replaced as it was about to have a blow out. Thankfully, it was warrantied. :) We went to the movies and then out to eat after and everything seemed relatively fine, UNTIL.....

We got in the car on the way home. Alexandra went into full blown freak out mode. Im talking screaming, crying and carrying on mode. I truly believe, from experience, that when Alexandra has too much stimulation, for example being out of the house for 5 hrs or more, she gets overstimulated and cannot control her emotions. So it was a fight home, and then a fight once we got home. And bedtime it got the worst. She kicked her Dad in the face and kidney twice because she didnt want her washable chux underneath her because she is tired of this and I quote "shit" and she is a big girl. (the chux are because she urinates a ton because of her lasix at night) This continued for 15 min of screaming and crying.

I hate that she has had to go through so much. I wish I could take it all away. I feel powerless in the whole situation.

Im actually kind of upset that Kevin and I didnt get to go out tonight alone. I really wanted to spend some time with just us, even though we would probably talk about the kids the entire time. But it would be us, and quiet without having to tell someone to sit down, calm down, dont blow bubbles in your drink, etc, etc etc...

But alas, life goes on. And we keep on keepin on.....there really isnt anything else to do.