Friday, April 1, 2016

Brutal and Beautiful - and some snippets about teaching

I flipping love this woman. Momastery. Glennon Melton.

"We live in a world who wants us to choose this or that, I'm good or I'm evil or I'm a saint or a sinner, but all that's BULLSHIT."


I have been beating myself up over Alexandra and her behavior at school. I mean like mentally berating myself over it. There's a mental picture of myself standing there, and then there's the other me that's beating myself with a baseball bat. And I take it. I take every hit.

You know what? She is never gonna sit still in class. (um does any child sit still in class?!) She is gonna open up her big mouth and say some stupid shit that really means nothing....why? Because she's her Mother. (and quite a bit of her Father too)

I have a big mouth. I say stupid stuff. I act a fool. I'm the Mom that 15 minutes after putting her children to bed, opens their bedroom doors and starts singing and dancing to "Pets" by Porno for Pyros.

Alexandra has only learned from the best. Her behavior is exactly what she sees. So who cares?

Look we have an extraordinary life. Sometimes the homework is not gonna get done. Sorry. (and the funny thing of this is I am going to be a teacher but I am like uh, homework, that's a suggestion) Sometimes I'm gonna say eff the homework and go get an ice cream. It's a free country.

I'm sitting here crying as I write this, and saying "I just wanna be okay" and then I laugh and say "No wait, I am okay".

I may be ruining my chances at a future career as a teacher by saying all this, but why don't we just flippin start helping kids desire to learn. Helping them love to learn. Helping them be like "OMG that is so flippin cool Mrs. Edges, I flipping love SCIENCE!"

Cause guess what? If you help them love to learn, they'll learn. They sit in the palm of your hand while you repeatedly teach them and blow their mind at the same time.

SO yeah, I'm gonna be the teacher at the end of the hall who has dance party before morning work, or does some insane algebraic thinking by using an XBOX to play Just Dance. Like statistically how many times can Billy get a perfect score while dancing to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga?

Do we think kids don't want to learn anymore because of some 5 inch amazing feat of technology that's in their pockets? Probably. Well why don't you show them how that 5 inch amazing feat of technology works? No kid wants to sit and do 3x-5 = 50 all day. Well some do....

So yeah, Alexandra is going to get up in class, wave papers in the teacher's face and act a fool. But she will say things that are downright amazing, and far beyond her age.

Aria, Aria likes to talk, A LOT. She has the vocabulary of a 60 year old, and uses phrases like " I am strategizing how to brush my teeth Mom". WHAT FLIPPIN 7 YEAR OLD SAYS SHIT LIKE "strategize".

Let me give myself a pat on the back for giving my children a large vocabulary. (it was probably all those old WWII news reels Kevin and I made them watch)

So moral of the story.

Kids want to learn. Alexandra wants to learn. But she is gonna be a pistol about it. Sometimes she is going to act like a lunatic and make up stuff, and other times she is so on the game you are like what?!?!?!

Alex is going to be harsh. She is going to be difficult. She lives in fight mode, she has been since day 1. Its what her brain knows. She is going to say things that will hurt your feelings. She doesn't really mean it.

I have been living in fight mode since May 1, 2006. Its brutal and beautiful, like Glennon says above.

I will never be perfect and I am going to eat Wendy's if I want to, and dance if I want to, and take a nap if I want to.

There will be finger prints on the floors of my house because the oldest likes to make her sister into a dog and literally puts a leash and collar on her and trots her around the house like she's walking her dog. No joke. (I bought them the leash and collar at the dollar store, pretend play is good)

Aria loves being Alexandra's dog. Or cat. Or rabbit....I have seen many different animals who have been domesticated in this house through pretend play.

We are gonna live. In all its messy glory. And I will be a teacher. I will be this crazy insane science and math teacher who makes kids love learning so much that they act like fools for it. I wanna be like Bill Nye was for me as a kid. (OMG LOVE THAT GUY)

So go live. Go out and have a ball. Do your thing. And if your kid says "son of a bitch" remember who he heard it from.....

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